I was sitting in the men’s locker room at work one night just doodling on my phone just watching some videos on facebook, and I had this conviction sitting on my soul; because earlier that morning I came home and went to bed after thanking God for keeping me safe as I traveled home.
(I work the night shift) and when I went up stairs and laid down my head, I got hit with the temptation of lust and pornography. Needless to say, I failed.
Now I did pray and asked God to forgive me, but the convi... moreI was sitting in the men’s locker room at work one night just doodling on my phone just watching some videos on facebook, and I had this conviction sitting on my soul; because earlier that morning I came home and went to bed after thanking God for keeping me safe as I traveled home.
(I work the night shift) and when I went up stairs and laid down my head, I got hit with the temptation of lust and pornography. Needless to say, I failed.
Now I did pray and asked God to forgive me, but the conviction, or perhaps the guilt still remained. So I set my phone down and I started to pray saying, “God I don’t why I keep failing. It’s like when I am tempted, all my strength just goes away.” (That’s when I first noticed something) I said “Lord, I do love you, but I don’t understand why it is so hard.”
This is what He said.
“Because you are relying on yourself, and because you are not letting me be Lord of that part of your life.”
It is so easy to try and fix things ourselves; and we get into this mindset that ‘If I can fix this mess then God will love me.’ But because of that mindset instead of drawing closer to God, we end up pushing Him away because we don’t want Him to see our nakedness.
Does this sound familiar?
“Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” Genesis 3:7 CSB
“So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.”” Genesis 3:9-10 CSB.
Adam and Eve Hid themselves not because they were naked physically, but because they ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, and their eyes were opened and they knew what they did was wrong and they were naked spiritually and they tried to cover themselves and hide from the Lord because they were ashamed.
So where does this leave us?
Remember what 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God.”
Christ already paid for ours sins and because the price has been paid, we don’t need to hide. Remember what is in Matthew 11:28-30.
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””
.CSB
Jesu is telling saying that we don’t have to hide, but that when we come to Him and give all our guilt and shame before Him and He won’t turn us away. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” - 1 John 1:9
God is a God of Love, mercy, and Grace. And every time we mess up and make mistakes He promises to always be there to pick us, as it is written, “I stand at the door and knock.” And we all want Gods forgiveness. But if we don’t get out of this mindset of “I need to fix this.” Then we won’t be able to be healed because we will continue to push God away. So humble yourself before the Lord and let your heart break in front of Him. He’s not gonna laugh or call you weak. That’s what satan and punks do. No God promises to forgive and forget. So don’t let your heart be troubled, but believe in the Lord and His Love and His Grace.
CAA Liam Glenn
Priory of St. Michael the Archangel
